I finished my second master’s degree a year ago today.
I have been in recovery for a little over a year, but with a little acknowledgement toward it taking me a few weeks to adjust and accept that recovery is a process, I have been in recovery for a year.
It has taken a year for me to understand what it means to live with a few anxiety disorders, what it takes to heal a non-physical brain injury and what that means for my life moving forward. It has been a year of figuring out a lot about myself, my abilities, and how other people impact my life.
I have cleared a lot of things out of my life that were not positive for me.
I feel that I can finally move forward.
And I am ready to get back into fighting shape.
I am reading Antifragile on the recommendation of a friend. The timing was perfect, because I have been feeling fragile the last few weeks. That culminated in a lot of frustration on Monday, which you can read in my previous post.
The timing wasn’t perfect because reading a book will resolve my personal challenges. The timing was perfect because the title was a firm reminder that I have a choice. I can stay with how I feel and let life happen to me, or I can get back into fighting shape and fight. I am not in fighting shape in any way, shape or form. Not physically, not mentally, not spiritually. I get taken out way too much by my lack of discipline.
This is not to say that I am going to remake myself into a machine. Those break too. But I have the ability to work incrementally toward changing my current fragile state to antifragile – able to take the chaos and unpredictability of life (and the state of my brain) and improve from it.
Diet changes, weight loss, more reading, more sleep (the last three weeks have been the least sleep I have had in a long time) and a conscious decision to be single (ha!) are a start. It’s my start.
Here goes Year 2.