I ate enough donuts to have a panic attack.

I wish I were kidding, but I had coffee and donuts with my grandma the other morning and the combination caused an anxiety trigger strong enough to require meds. I had a full-on freak out (after I got home, thankfully).

No more caffeinated coffee or donuts for me!

I was really surprised, because I have eaten donuts previously without the severe anxiety result. I eat pretty clean and healthy these days, however, and I drink either tea or decaf coffee. It apparently overloaded my system, which crashed. Hard.

Donuts are a fairly easy choice to avoid. I have not bought them in several months, and delicious as they are, I don’t have a problem not indulging. I only drink coffee if I’m out for a meeting, and a decaf latte is easily acquired, so that is also an easy choice. Not so much other things in life.

Taking an hour (or two) out of my day to exercise, going beyond donuts to cut sugar, gluten and red dye from my diet to the extent feasible (I am not going to pass on something really delicious now and then), improving my yoga practice, avoiding negative thoughts an people, breathing through my triggers and calming myself, surrounding myself with supportive family and friends, doing the hard work of successful recovery – those are not easy choices. Those are often not nearly as black and white, and in my life tend to be in shades of grey in terms of my ability – perceived or real – to achieve them.

I would not be able to do this if I were not focused on what is important to me (my well being) and willing to fight strategically. I wrote a post about focused fighting previously, and that concept is now applying directly to me.

Donuts, Anxiety and Choices –> Decide. Focus. Fight.